The Clan of the Red Beanie, American Division, is meeting down in Atlanta right now, and, as you can imagine, Our Lady of Bad Analogies is on the scene, “live-tweeting” the way the disciples did when Jesus made them walk to Caesarea again, when all they really wanted to do was stay in Jerusalem, get really drunk on decent wine, and chase all that religious poontang that was running around. (And, yes, the headline on that post is indeed a big old hanging curveball that caught too much of the plate.) The Clan was greeted thereby a passel of angry nun-lovers.
But, of course, the main topic of conversation is the continued persecution by President Vespasian, who is lining Catholics up, marching them into the Colosseum, and forcing them at tiger’s point to make it easier for their Presbyterian scrubwomen to buy birth control. Oppression is everywhere. In hoc signo vinces, bitches!
“Frankly, as a Catholic, this is the first time in my life that I’ve felt this [religious] freedom is in jeopardy. “said Lorraine V. Murray. a parishioner at St. Thomas More Catholic Church in Decatur and a religion columnist, whose free lance clients include The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
Naturally, various executives from the home office will be stopping by to support the brave battle in which none of us are truly free unless the secular law bends to the whims of celibate bureaucrats.
“It goes without saying that the Catholic Church in the United States is living in a particularly challenging period of its history,” Vigano told an Atlanta meeting of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. “Of course, I am thinking of the whole question of freedom of religion and of conscience.”
And there will be arrant nonsense — although, to be fair, being the Catholic archbishop in Salt Lake City does present some unique theological challenges.
Bishop John Wester of Salt Lake City said the bishops were only responding to the federal policy announced in January.”We need to be vigilant and we need to address these issues,” Wester said. “The government cannot define religion for us.”
I’m sorry, but has Bishop Wester been drinking? How in the name of god — you should pardon the expression — can any sober person conclude that what the president has been trying to do in this utterly ginned-up controversy is to “define” religion? Is it Bishop Wester’s argument that the Church is “defined” by its stance on who can do what during sexy sexytime? Does Bishop Wester think he works for Larry Flynt?
(Later, according to K-Lo who, at this point, must have taken on most of the aspects of Bernini’s Ecstasy Of St. Teresa, was transported by a speech from Thomas Farr, who runs the Berkley Center at Georgetown, and who writes extensively on “religious liberty” and who apparently sees a seamless threat to religious liberty from authentic repression in China and Iran, to the tyranny practiced on good Catholic people by those gay faggity-fags:
In his keynote address, Philip Tartaglia, the Catholic bishop of Paisley, Scotland, noted that one of his priests had expressed fear after having watched a popular television program with audience participation. The audience was of one mind- once same sex marriage becomes law in the UK, they said, any dissenters should be “pursued by the law.”
Am I being oppressive if I point out that I think Bishop Tartaglia is as full of shit as the Christmas goose? You can keep the holes in the hands and in the side. I’d just like to see a tape of that “popular TV program” that so frightened an obvious paranoid. Farr is a convert, by the way. Take it from me. They’re always the worst