The look of love is cast differently from one person to the next and, sometimes, a woman’s eyes land on a charming guy a few years her senior.
If you are her age, it might seem a bit odd for you to understand why she goes for the gray hair but, after reading this list of the top ten reasons why women date older men, you might be able to see why they do it.
For younger guys, this list can be a lifesaver – you could figure out what it really takes to win the girl you have had your eye on.
Confidence and Stability
No matter how you slice it, women are attracted to an air of self-belief that makes a man seem impenetrable. Older men, having been through a bit more than their younger counterparts, carry themselves in an assured manner. The confidence is no longer fake, guys who have been around a while are more comfortable in their skin, which helps women feel more relaxed around them.
Money isn’t everything, but the fact an older guy often has a solid career will bring women in by the boatloads. Sad as it is, the men who are in the first few years out of college are often the ones who end up trampled on when a company decides to go in a different direction. The illusion of a steady paycheck is much stronger when a man has been working for the same company for a decade or more. Ultimately, that sort of reliability draws on a woman’s need to feel she and her children (if she wants to have some) will be provided for no matter what.
If you’re a younger guy, chances are you are not dumb. That said, you probably haven’t figured out how to sound smart just yet, either. One of the reasons why women date older men, strange as it may seem, is the fact guys seem to get more intelligent as time passes. This might be due to reading more books or just being around other sharp minds, but your average twentysomething is often way outpaced by a fortysomething when it comes to wisdom. Ladies like to have deep conversations – that’s no real shocker – and there’s a better chance they’ll find it with an older man.
Romance Comes to the Fore
Though you are probably pretty smooth, it’s just a matter of fact that older men have a better feel for those moments that make a woman’s heart sing. While you are out finding a beautiful bouquet of flowers, he’s looking for a quiet nature trail where the birds sing. As you plan an evening at the most expensive restaurant in town, he’s preparing a quiet dinner for two at home while the sun sets. These are small cues, yet they make a real impression.
Expects Something Different
Look, let’s be honest, younger guys are well-known for the tendency to be controlled by their hormones instead of their brains. Jumping from woman to woman isn’t uncommon and, frankly, the gals get tired of waiting for your attention span to fade. An older man, because he values the connection more, is frequently looking to let a relationship develop naturally. He is more at ease emotionally, hoping for a partner that complements him instead of a flash-in-the-pan attraction.
Fewer Games – If Any at All
Men and women have long known the thrill of the chase is part of dating. The cat-and-mouse game of calling first, playing hard-but-not-too-hard to get and so forth is a hallmark of the courtship process. Older men are less likely to attempt to seem distant in order to make a woman beg them for affection. Because he has been to the well a few times, he knows exactly what he wants to get. He won’t waste his time or hers along the way.
Support and Affection Come First
Mature relationships allow two people to grow together and as individuals, something that an older guy will know far better than the average younger man will. The price of his experience has been coming to grips with what is really important in life – how to make women happy – and putting those lessons into practice.
For her, it may be the first time in her life a guy has helped her feel like she could accomplish something or called her “beautiful” instead of “sexy.” Those subtle changes infuse her with confidence in herself, which pulls her all that much closer to him.
You might feel like you have it all together when it comes to the ladies, but chances are you are still stuck in that “frat boy caveman” phase where you get caught up in lust of the eyes more often than not. Even if you are aware women aren’t pieces of meat, you probably aren’t quite able to articulate that yet. Older men have a knack for displaying respect in many ways – man-to-man, man-to-woman, man-to-child, etc. – acquired over the years. Much like the confidence she receives from him, the respect bolsters her self-evaluation and makes her want to be with an older guy more.
Understands the Value of Appreciation
Humans are, by nature, incredibly social creatures. The manner in which we communicate to each other says a lot about who we are and what we find important. Women, who are less secure emotionally than men, require a steady diet of compliments to help them feel like everything is going well. This could be as basic as describing why dinner was so excellent or as complex as noting the psychological effects her very presence elicits.
Being more in touch with what you think and how you feel comes with age, which is why an older man is more likely to hit all the right notes when he tells her what he loves about her. And, when those thoughts are communicated, it makes her more likely to reciprocate, which deepens the relationship.
More Likely to Settle Down Quickly
It sounds odd to a lot of guys – he actually wants to commit? – but it’s not unheard of for women to date older men simply because they are ready to get married and have kids. The biological clock ticks on both sides of the gender fence, guys just have a bit longer to wait before giving up. If a woman is focused on having children, she could be more inclined to look for someone who would like to pass on his legacy sooner rather than later.